Do You Like My New Shirt?

I don't want to participate on that team!

Paris is obviously the catcher.

Nicky is in right field, repelling balls.

Tom Cruise could play shortshop.

Britney's somewhere in left field already, so she can stay there.

Tara Reid's massive boobs have the potential to knock down anything hit down the 3rd base line, so that's her job.

Pete Doherty can pitch to Paris, since he's got the blow.

Jessica Simpson can play second base so Dirty Daddy Joe can watch her from center field.

Who's on first? Can't tell you. She's trying to be annoymous right now.

Photo from Evil Beet.

More Dirt on Dirty Daddy

Now that Jessica has pissed off her Dirty Daddy, will she get a spanking from him for being a naughty girl?

Ol' Joe is reportedly livid that Jessica refused to host a New Year's party in Vegas at PURE and then partied in New York with John Mayer.

Dirty Daddy's rage most likely stems from the Dolly Parton tribute fiasco, which cost him a cool $15,000 after the Kennedy Center refused to reimburse Jessica's hair, makeup and stylist fees after Jess backed out.

Fr. Joseph should be happy Jess didn't take the Vegas gig...that job went to Britney Spears, and look how her night ended!

But actually, now that I think about it...Dirty Daddy would probably really dig some crotch shots of his first born.

Jessica Pays Dirty Daddy's Way...Again

Dirty Daddy Joe Simpson has found yet another use for his daughter. (She's ever so versatile!) Dirty Daddy wanted to do Dallas...in a football sense that is. What's a father who's already got everything he owns by selling his daughter to do?

Enter Tony Romo. Dirty Daddy reportedly let Romo "admit" to going out with Jessica Simpson...for...tickets! However, Romo is really dating Carrie Underwood, and has never actually met. He's sick. Was he really a minister? Sure it wasn't a Catholic priest?

Read more Dirty Daddy Ditties!!!!