Michael Jackson's "Children"

Prince Michael II (Top)

Prince Michael I & Paris (Bottom)

As much as I shudder to think of the name "Michael Jackson" in any way associated with the word "children", it's necessary now. The pictures are of Michael Jackson's........children. His "real" children. The same children he dangled over a balcony, hid under a blanket, disguised under veils and bestowed upon them such names such as "Prince Michael I", "Prince Michael II", and "Paris" the international word for skank.

Little Prince Michael the Sequel could very well be Michael's child, if children inherited post-surgery attributes.

I think we should start a "Save the Children of Michael Jackson" fund. Sally Struthers is too busy kiping food from the starving children to help out, but maybe Rob Reiner could step in.

Michael Jackson Doesn't Take or Pay for His Meds

Michael Jackson has managed to rack up a $100,000 pharmacy tab at a Beverly Hills store. The store says they have a verbal agreement with MJ to pay for the drugs, but he hasn't paid since mid-2005!

What kind of drugs do you think Michael Jackson could be on? Painkillers? Antidepressants? Placebos? Whatever it is, I doubt he's taking it!