Britney Shops Target; Belongs at Wal-Mart

Over-bleached hair, tight shirt with no bra, preggo-looking belly, heater in hand, and blood red lips. Looks like a Wal-Mart customer to me!

Britney Takes Cover

Britney felt a sudden urge to be discreet as she was caught leaving the bathroom of a gas station while on a quick pit stop from a road trip with Isaac Cohen. Apparently not willing to repeat the humiliation of having her body parts and crevices splattered over every media source imaginable, Britney primly covered her bra-less boobs, which were prominent in her sheer shirt.

Pete Doherty Shoots Up

And then again! Drunken Stepfather has the video! Something that's actually not disturbing about it? It looks like the video originated from Sun and they bill it as an anti-drug PSA!!! They even have a number you can call for help on the screen!

Over-Exposed to Paris Exposed

I'm Paris Hiltoned OUT!!!! For more on Paris Hilton Exposed, visit these fine blogs:

Paris Sues Over ParisExposed.com - The Bosh

What's all at ParisExposed.com? - Didn't You Hear?

The "I Got Fucked in the Butt for Coke" Video - The Rad Report

She's a Racist Too - All Beautiful Women

Video: Paris Tokes on a Doobie - Ninja Dude

Spears Goes Dark Again

She looks cute and pretty in the first photo, but in the second one the hair is back to greasy, trademark Britney. Apparently she was out with Issac Cohen, left his house at 2 a.m. with little Jayden James. Hmmmm...

Did Sienna Leave Her Pants in Diddy's Car?

Or just giving easy access for the next lucky guy?

Read about Sienna and Diddy

Here She Cums...It's Miss America

Perhaps that would be a more appropriate theme for the pageant, since the Katie Rees photo scandal. Not to mention the Miss New Jersey kerfuffle and the clamor over Tara Conner's boozin' problem, in the USA competition.

Miss Oklahoma Lauren Nelson was named Miss America at last night's pageant. Now that the integrity of the crown has been compromised, she has a serious task ahead of her. No men, no booze, no lesbian photos. Can she avoid a scandal on the runway, or will she fall victim to the royal curse?

Brandy's Got the Big Guns After Her!

And by "big guns" I mean a lawyer! It's never good when they get involved! TMZ is reporting that the parent's of the woman who was killed in the car crash are suing her for $50 million dollars. They're seeking both punitive and compensatory damages.

I'll get put through the ringer for this, but I don't care. Unless she actually meant for this to happen, there should be no reason to sue!!! While I don't think a daughter dying is by any means frivolous, it is a frivolous lawsuit! Accidents do happen. And unfortunately for this woman's parents, and for Brandy, this one had serious results. But will money bring their daughter back? No.

Christina Ricci in Italian Vogue

Cool photos! From Jen's Juice.

Straight From the Horse's Mouth...

Actually, it's the other sister that looks more like the offspring of Mr. Ed, but all in the family, right? No need to quote her on this one! Photo from Allie is Wired.

Little Harry Potter Naked - With A Horse!!!

I just don't want to think of Harry Potter (real name: Daniel Radcliffe) naked. It just has a child pornography feel or something. Ish. He's starring in a production in London called Equs, and he has to get naked for the part. He's sort of pasty.

New Site!!!

The Hollyweird Gazette will be moving soon! Among other things, I've tired with the problems I've had with blogger! Keep checking back for the new site!

E-mail me any suggestions, photos, etc. to hollyweirdgazette@yahoo.com!!!

Is Sienna Playing With Diddy's Diddy?

P.-Combs- Puffy-Diddy-Daddy-Sean -or whatever his name is today-was caught dropping Sienna Miller off at her hotel in New York City the morning after they apparently spent the night partying together. The photo is supposedly from the Sundance Film Festival, where they were supposedly getting cozy with each other.

Watch the video here.

He creeps me out. It's not natural for a person to have an ego of that proportion. Why stay home feeding the brand new babies why you can pour booze down Sienna's throat and ogle Jessica Biel?

Miss Nevada Strikes a More Flattering Pose

Miss Nevada Katie Rees didn't let a few pesky photos keep her from her partying ways. She just kept it a little more tasteful! TMZ reports that Katie was spotted livin' it up at at Body English and the Hard Rock Hotel in Vegas at 3:45 a.m. with a whole posse of friends.

For a plethora of other Miss Nevada shots, check out my blogging partners, Right Celebrity!

Brandy's Accident Woes

It sounds like Brandy will be prosecuted for her accident that involved a fatality! The California Highway Patrol is recommending she be charged with a misdemenor or vehicular manslaughter. Apparently, she was speeding and they consider her at fault. She's facing a year in the L.A. County jail and a $1,000 fine.

I feel bad for her. We all speed, she was just unlucky. I'm sure she feels horrible about the fatality. TMZ has more!

What's in Paris' Medicine Cabinet?

Paris kept anything and everything that could be used against her in that storage shed! And we're finding out she's a walking pharmacy! Prescriptions for Ambien, Xanax, Vicodin, and Valtrex (the herpes rumors appear to be true)! There is also a document floating around for a misscarriage Paris apparently had, but was treated under the name of Amber. This was in 2003.

I started to feel sort of bad for her at one point. No one wants their medical history and personal demons to haunt the internet for months...but on the other hand...if you're moronic enough to take hundreds of photos smoking pot, rolling a guy in blow, some while naked...well...you get what you got coming! That's the one bill she should have made sure she paid every month! $200 to Paris is like a nickel's deduction from my paycheck! Like she'd notice the absence of the money!

When you get prescriptions, do you keep them for years and store them in a special area? I keep mine for a little while where I store my financial records, or if it's something hard to remember, I may keep it on hand in case I need it again someday. But if it was my herpe medication? I don't think I'd forget I had herpes, and with all the Valtrex commercials, you can't possibly forget what medication you need!

Keep checking back for Paris Diary Entries! Lots of them to come!

Eva Mendes in Maxim!!!

Wipe the drool off your chin!

The SAG Awards!

Heather Graham

Katherine Heigl

Leonardo DeCaprio

Terri Hatcher

The Screen Actors Guild Awards were held last night. Right Celebrity has everything you need to know, including winners and oodles from the red carpet. Click here to see who won. For red carpet photos, click here. For photos of the winners, click here. And for more photos from the red carpet, go here.

Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey on the Set

Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey are teaming up for another movie after How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. Photo from ,'>Miz Monica Monroe.

Welcome to New Orleans, Y'all!

Brad and Angelina recently moved their quickly-growing brood into this $3.5 million cozy dwelling in the French Quarter of New Orleans. They could further their humanitarian cause by housing some of the Katrina refugees that Houston wants to send home - they have the room.

Sienna Miller on Jay Leno

Sienna Miller took her foot out of her mouth long enough to play a game with Jay Leno on the Tonight Show. The two tried to see who could fit more grapes in their mouths. Leno shoved in 31, while Sienna made a poor showing with only 14.

As for the icky thumb...I know nothing about that. Photos from Pink Reniassance.

Angelina's Mother Dies

DListed is reporting today that Angelina Jolie's mother died in Los Angeles after a long battle with cancer. She was 56. She and Brad were present at her death.

Jayden James' First (Fuzzy) Public Photo

So that's the first somewhat clear shot we have of Jayden! Britney's aunt (mother's side) passed away on the 21st, and I suppose some sleazy photographer decided to take advantage of her grief and get the shot. Photo from X17 via Mollygood.

Mariah Carey on the Cover of Playboy

More Paris-Phernalia

I recently heard that Paris actually has a car that follows her around everywhere and carries her drugs, so she won't get in trouble for have them on her, which would explain why she retired her little case to her little storage place.

Who poses for a license picture like that? And why does she have an Ohio license? Most likely a fake. Well, for that matter, who poses for pictures of themselves smoking pot? Paris, ya gotta keep it on the down low (too late for that).

This is a post Paris supposedly left on Stavros' MySpace page to clear things up with her "fans."

I Dream of Disney

Disney has started an ad campaign called World's Year of a Million Dreams that features celebrities as Disney characters. The first round features David Beckham as the Sleeping Beauty Prince, Scarlett Johansson as Cinderella, Beyonce as Alice in Wonderland, Lyle Lovett as the March Hare, and Oliver Platt as the Mad Hatter.

The Beckham one is a little pompous, but they all look really groovy. The Little Mermaid, Peter Pan and other Disney characters are planned for future ads. These will kick off in Vogue's March edition and GQ.

Movie Trailer Mashups!

I caught the tail end of an interview on CNN tonight with a kid who does movie trailer mashups. It basically a way to spoof a movie by changing the music and editing clips to make it look like it's a completely different film. I start looking on You Tube, and here's what I found:

American Beauty/8 Mile



Brokeback Mountain/Blade



The 10 Commandments



The Shining



Mary Poppins

George Lopez Blasts Jay Leno

George Lopez is slightly bitter about not being invited to be a guest on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno since. George calls Jay "the biggest two-faced dude in TV", saying that Leno played the nice guy by calling Lopez when he had his transplant, and putting "a knife" in his back.

Lopez also suggested that there was a reason behind Conan O'Brien taking over the Tonight Show while Leno was still young enough to host the show, saying,

"The dude's like the worst interviewer on TV."

So why get in a tizzy about the situation? If Leno is a horrible interviewer, then wait until Conan O'Brien takes over and invites you on the show, when you won't have to deal with Leno's less than stellar interview skills.

I do agree that it's strange that Leno is leaving so early, but I think Conan will be funnier. Not that it really matters. I work early and don't watch late night TV, and no one will ever be Johnny Carson.

Spawn of Bigfoot

Mary-Kate Olsen wasn't keen on having her picture taken in Beverly Hills. I wouldn't want pictures of me dressed in a fireplace rug to hit the web, either.

Tom Let's Katie Leave the House

Katie's leaving Creative Audio Associates, a company that does music and sound for TV and film. She's probably not allowed to talk around Tom and needs an outlet! More photos at Just Jared.

Biker Bitch With a Touch of Class

Is that the look Ashley Olsen is trying to acheive? Why is she wearing biker leathers and with a skirt and accessorizing the ensemble with Harley Davidson boots and a Gucci bag? Don't quote me on the brands.

Who's the $2 Hooker With the Hulk?

Brooke Hogan attended the UFC fight last night...with her dad...wearing a dress it appears she took from a streetwalker. I would never go out in something like that with my dad! Ew! Actually, I would probably never go out in something like this!

Carrie Underwood Shoots a Video

She just keeps pumping 'em out! This is in Tampa.

Mary-Kate Olsen's Plaid Nightmare

Mary-Kate Olson stole the blanket off my couch!

Tara Conner Takes Back the Crown

Tara Conner makes her "comeback" from rehab on New York Dog.

Bingo: It's not just for blue-haired old ladies with loose change anymore

Bingo has changed slightly since the days of playing in a church basement for a box of Jello with polyester-clad old crows manning 10 cards at once.

Katie Price a.k.a Jordan has been chosen to represent online gaming site Foxy Bingo, along with a fox mascot who looks like he could be a level 3 sex offender.

More pictures at Hollywood Tuna.

Someone Always Has to Bitch

K-Fed's Superbowl ad for Nationwide Insurance is causing some controversy. The National Restaurant Association is pissed about the ad because it's demeaning to the fast food workers of the world. So now the NRA is writing letters, and dreaming up scenerios for alternate endings.

Is this really worth whining about? The ad is meant to degrade K-Fed! Like he could even hold a job flipping burgers! Click here to read more!

Heard in Hollyweird

"We don't airbrush to that extent."

Hugh Hefner, upon hearing that Kelly Osbourne had expressed her desire to appear in Playboy.

Another Uncomfortable Moment Brought To You By Tom Cruise

If this girl had any sense she'd have promptly placed that paper bag over her head, before Daddy realized how much he loved her and bolted to the highest bleacher to announce it to the world!

Isabella looks like a girl giving a bad date a pity kiss. I'm almost expecting to hear a noise of disgust sneak out. Of course the chokehold Tom has her in may be preventing any repulsed noises. She's a little bigger than him, though, so she shouldn't have a problem get out of it!

Paris needed a whole storage space for this?

Ok, so I said I was burnt out on Paris, and I really was...but of course, the day I decided to just say no to Paris is the day that the gazillionaire bimbo neglects to pay a $200 bill, resulting in nasty videos and pictures getting posted all over the internet.

Apparently, Parisite forgot to pay a bill to her storage shed, and the company is saying they own her things now. And it just so happens that her "things" include diary entries admitting she gave a guy herpes, and video of she and the other rich kids partaking in powder. For LOTS more (graphic) pictures and details go to Drunken Stepfather.

Watch the Paris Exposed Trailer here.

Johnny Depp's "Pirate's Teeth" Model...

It's his girlfriend Vanessa Paradis! Is she British? Photos from Allie is Wired.

Overkill Links

Have you heard that Posh and Beckham are moving to the U.S.? Or that Britney is a horrible mother? Betcha didn't know that Lindsay Lohan went to rehab! And guess what? Paris Hilton is a moron. An absolute imbecile.

What?!!! You already knew? Could it be because the same 4 topics have been dominating the gossip network for weeks? I, quite frankly, need a break from these subjects. I will, however, kindly link you to other blogs that are covering those topics.

Smells Like Posh and Beckham - Glitterati Gossip
Paris on Probabtion - The Bosh
Britney Goes Mad - Miz Monica Monroe
Posh and Beckham Get Waxxed - DListed
FedEx Delivers His Opinion - Celebitchy
Paris' Privates - Celebrity Mound
No One Get's Out of Rehab Alive - Celeb Update

Lindsay Lohan in Hello Magazine

January 2007 issue.

Tori Spelling Dresses For Birth

Head's up to Tori Spelling...no need to wear the hospital gown until the baby is actually ready to be born! At least it looks like a variation of a hospital gown. It must have a slit in the back...otherwise, why would she be wearing those hideous leggings? More photos at Celebrity Puke.

Sean P. Gets an Education

Just when you think you can give Britney props for spending time with her son, you find out where it is they went!

Britney, the nanny, and another girl took Sean P. along for an outing at Trashy Lingerie in Hollywood. The good news is that Sean P. spoke his first word after seeing the porn magazines. It just happened to be "mama."

Dancing With The Stars - Important Cast Revelations

Ooooooooooooooooooooo!!! THE DANCING WITH THE STARS CAST!!!!! This is something I know I'VE been losing sleep over since last season's Sara Evans scandal. Here's what (or who)we know so far:

• Billy Ray Cyrus
• Ian Ziering (Steve from 90210)
• Muhammad Ali's daughter Laila
• Joey Fatone of NSYNC

This sounds more like a cast for the Surreal Life!

Breaking News: Kate Moss Pushes Something Other Than a Needle

There was a Mercedes Benz stuck near Kate Moss' home in England, so she decided to don a pair of rubbers, pull up her sleeves (oh wait, track marks)...well...she's trying to help.

From TMZ.

The Godfather of Smell

Lysol must not be cutting it in the Brown household anymore, because James Brown's body has been moved out of the home, where it been since December 30th (yack), and put in an undisclosed location...and unfortunatley the location is not six feet under, because Brown's lawyer says that no decision on where Brown's final resting place will be has been made.

Meanwhile, the six vultures that James spawned are planning on talking to the Presley's about how it is they opened Graceland, so that they might do the same thing with their father's home, even putting the body in a mausoleum and including his grave in the home-turned-museum.

Can't they plant the poor man already?!!! While the greedy little pests search for crumbs , the stench of James Brown is starting to attract the buzzards!

Elegance Nill in 2006

Why? Because if Britney Spears has made #2 on a list of "Most Elegant Women of 2006", something is sorely lacking in that area. Hello magazine recently polled readers online to compile the list. Here's the complete 10:

1. Princess Mary

2. Britney Spears

3. Cate Blanchett

4. Natalie Imbruglia

5. Queen Rania

6. Catherine Zeta-Jones

7. Kate Winslet

8. Keira Knightley

9. Princess Letizia

10. Princess Maxima

I truly feel for the women that fell below her on the list! To come in after a crotch-flashing, table-dancing party girl must be devestating!

Below are links to photos of Britney at the very height of elegance in 2006.

Elegant Britney #1

Elegant Britney #2

Elegant Britney #3

Elegant Britney #4

Elegant Britney #5

Elegant Britney #6

Elegant Britney #7

Elegant Britney #8

Elegant Britney #9

Elegant Britney #10

From World of Britney.

Demi & Ashton Decide Not to Ruin a Good Movie

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher were apparently ready to remake one of the greatest movies of all time, The Graduate, filmed in 1967 originally. Demi had thought that the older woman, younger man scenario in the film would be perfect for her and Ashton, but changed her mind, saying that real couple on the screen never seem to work.

This is a good thing! That movie just shouldn't be remade! It was done perfectly the first time!

Mama & Papa's Singer Dies!

Denny Doherty, a singer of the quartet the Mama's and the Papa's died on Friday at his home in Canada. He was 66. The Mama's and the Papa's were at the height of their popularity in the 60's, known for their harmonizing, and were inducted into the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame in 1998.

Another singer for the band, Cass Elliott, died in 1974. Have you have thought that if Mama Cass had just given Karen Carpenter that ham sandwich, everything would have turned out fine?

RIP Papa Denny!

Rocky Knows Best

Sylvester Stallone has decided to use his wisdom and fame to make David Beckham's transition from England to the States more pleasant, by giving Beckham some advice on his own volition. The Italian Stallion has this to say to David:

"If he wants to be taken seriously, he might want to tone down his life - the high society side. The U.S. audience doesn't like the Rolls Royce and the showy lifestyle. They like humility."

Since when? America is obsessed with the lives of the wealthy, and people will go into crushing debt to be like them! I could see where Rambo's fame and success could make him well-versed on celebrity etiquette in America, but maybe he should have left this one up to Estelle Getty. Read more profound advice from Sly at Glitterati Gossip.

Britney & Isaac Cohen Leave Club Cabana

Big deal. She leaves a club looking shitty while her kids are raised by a nanny, and she needs to join Lohan in rehab. Photos from X17.

Christina's Hot Little Red Number!

I love the dress! Photos from Pink Renaissance.

Gwen Stefain Finally Looks Normal

It's the first time I've liked something she's worn in a long time. Or the way she did her hair...or anything about her sense of fashion. More photos from DListed.

Britney sees a picture of her crotch...

This just made me LAUGH!!! This photo is the epitome of all that is classless and white trash about her.

Britney's Latest Accessory

She robs her children of their father, and her time, and now kipes the nook from them! It could really just be a Ring Pop. Remember those? From Miz Monica Monroe and X17.

Jack Bauer Takes a Break

There's Keifer, taking some time out from 24. The show is under fire from a Muslim group again. They're tired as being posed as terrorists. You can read more at Popsugar.

American Idol or Psycho?

Madame Tussauds paid homage to American Idol with these wax figures of Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell, and it wasn't a job well done. These are totally creepy. First of all, besides the fact that Ryan Seacrest is shiny and looks like he got a bad makeup job (much like on the show), his expression clearly says: "I'm fucking nuts."

And Simon...well, he just looks like serial killer pondering over his next victim. I guess you can hop on stage at the wax museum and sing for the two, get your picture taken, have nightmares for the rest of your life...

Why no likeness of Paula? I'd like to see her sauced-up Terri Schivo expression with a cocktail in one hand and a bottle of Vicodin in the other captured in wax. Photo from Inkling.

Jessica's Got a Pooch in Her Cooch!

This is an ad for Jessica's new line of shoes and handbags. She looks so hot, but spreading the limbs ruins the picture! I wouldn't want to be the dog! Photo from Tabloid Whore.

Kate Winslet on Hollywood Life

Kate Winslet is on the cover in the January/February issue. Read more at Just Jared.

Fed-Ex in Vegas

Both Britney's ex's were partying in Vegas this weekend! See photos of K-Fed's night by clicking here, and photos of Justin Timberlake are right here.

Hollyweird Horror: Paris Hilton Moose Knuckle

Only Parisite could manage to accomplish camel toe wearing a dress. Photos are from Celebrity Smack and check out her posting on the subject-it's hilarious!!!

Jessica & Ashlee at Barney's

Jessica's shopping for new shirts, I suppose? The girl on the bottom right looks shocked by something. Maybe she saw Dirty Daddy Joe Simpson behind the camera?

Tara Reid at the Sundance Film Festival

What has she done in the past few years to get her an invite? Photos from Splash News.

So That's Who Stole Christina's Lipstick!

A few days ago, I was pondering what happened to Christina Aguilera's lipstick! Here's my answer!

It's Paul Stanley's 59th Birthday!

And he's spent all 59 years in the closet!

The White Oprah Contributes to Daughter's Demise

The paler version of Oprah Winfrey may be the person her daughter's friends come to for advice, but she apparently doesn't know much about Lindsay. Dina says in this video that she's not her daughter's keeper (just her mother), and it's the media who's responsible for Lindsay's screwed up life!

She had to throw in an outside name to ensure people it's not just her family that has problems, so she let it be known that Nick and Jessica's marriage was destroyed by the paparazzi as well.

OK, mother-of-the-year...if you have all of this knowledge and insight of how the media is poison to your daughter's life and other people's marriages, why would you sit down for an interview with a sleazy TV tabloid and spew even more of Lindsay's life to the world?

By the way...everone can tell you're over 40, so you don't have to act coy about it!

Miss Nevada: I'm not that kind of girl - anymore!

Katie Rees has interviewed with Inside Edition to talk about how unfairly she's been treated compared to Miss USA Tara Conner. She says that the pictures in question were all taken well before her reign, and that it was also three years prior to knowing she'd be a public figure. The part I love is this:

"When I saw them, I was shocked. We were just out being goofy girls and celebrating. We had a few drinks. That night I don't think I thought much about anything, to be honest with you."

Does she mean she was shocked to see them in the media, or that she was shocked to see what she did? Must have been one hell of a jag if she can't remember that. She "used" to be a nasty girl. And you can see even MORE NASTY at TMZ.

And LOTS more nasty from my blogging partners, Right Celebrity!

Playboy calling Miss Nevada

Pagent scandal!!!!

FAQ by Britney: Did I really do that? Who was that guy with me?

Where she gets answers:




Even Britney is wondering what she's been up to lately!

At Least He Works

A segment from K-Fed's Superbowl commercial for Nationwide. The same Superbowl his wife was excluded from. Hey, at least he's doing something with himself other than dancing on tables and boozing. Haven't seen his crotch either, come to think of it

A Less Glamorous Katherine McPhee

She's usually all dolled up, but she's pretty normal-looking in these photos. Still seems to love the attention despite the fact she's not wearing makeup. She's going to turn into a huge pain in the ass someday...I just have a feeling. Photos from Out of Sight Media

Carmen Electra for Coca-Cola!

Because we all know chugging Coke every day will make our bodies look like that!

Hooked in Hollyweird: The Complete Addictions of Lindsay Lohan Photo Essay

My blogging partners, Right Celebrity have posted an entire gallery of photos of Lindsay Lohan partying! I wonder if Dina's pissed she losing her drinking buddy?

Britney: Not Up to Superbowl Standards

The NFL is full of thugs, gang-bangers and cruise captains from the Love Boat (shout out to my Vikings!), and even they don't want to be associated with Britney, calling her a "train wreck" The league has apparently turned down Brit's request to perform at the Superbowl, but have included Paris Hilton in the halftime festivities.

Smooth one, Spears. When an organization such as the NFL (known for their unfathomably low class and problematic behavior) rejects you and opts for Paris Hilton, it is not just a "rocky moment". Ummm..maybe a rock bottom moment.

And as for the NFL... Paris Hilton is the best they could come up with for the Superbowl? Trash with money seems to be a common theme in the league!

So...why again was Britney rejected?

Lindsay Needs a 13th Step

It's turns out the twelve steps of AA aren't quite enough for Lindsay Lohan. Via her rep, Lindsay announced she would be checking into rehab, saying:

"I have made a proactive decision to take care of my personal health. I appreciate your well wishes and and ask that you please respect my privacy at this time."

Not working the program, Lindsay? You've got to cut off ties from your boozing crew! Britney, Paris and your Mom will just have to party without you!

People doesn't mention which hospital's top floor Lindsay will be occupying, but it's always Hazelden or Betty Ford.

Third Time is a Charm!

If you can't handle one...have another. If two aren't enough to keep you home...try one more.

You've just read the Britney Spears philosophy on parenting. In Touch Weekly (consider the source) is reporting (as per a "source") that Britney is pregnant for a third time, only 4 months after giving birth to invisi-baby. Side note: Where the hell is that kid, anyway? When he finally comes out of hiding, will he have a scarf over his head like "Michael Jackson's" kids?

In any case, Brit will have to up the salary of whoever is raising her children if a third one is on the way. Lucky for Britney she's loaded, so the increase in childcare costs shouldn't affect her ability to buy booze and cigarettes.

Breaking News: Christina Aguilera's Lips Stop Bleeding

But neither she or Jordan seem to be relishing this happy occasion!

But Did She Hurt Herself?

Paris had problems in Beverly Hill a few days ago, when the heel of her cheap and shoddy shoe snapped off.

Who's she calling? The blacksmith? Wouldn't want her to split a hoof while she's out shopping. Oh well. She's still open for rides.

Matthew McConaughey: Down Under (the table)

Only Matthew McConaughey could do the following and still look completely and utterly hot:

1. Pick up random women in Austrailian bars

2. Slobber all over his shirt

3. Dance as if he's having convultions

He looks as if he's enjoying the musical selection!

The Golden Globes

Reese Witherspoon

Nicollette Sheridan

Sienna Miller
Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith

Naomi Watts

Penelope Cruz

Renee Zellweger

Selma Hayek

Jessica Biel
Justin Timberlake

Katherine Heigl

Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Saarsguard

Evangeline Lilly

Hilary Swank

Jennifer Hudson

Jennifer Lopez

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony

Courtney Cox Arquette and David Arquette

Drew Barrymore

Eva Longoria
Felicity Huffman

America Ferrera

Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner

Beyonce Knowles

Brad and Angelina

Cameron Diaz

The red carpet at the Golden Globes was nothing too impressive this year. I saw some dresses I really liked, but nothing really blew me away!

Hollyweird History

In 1942, Carole Lombard, along with her mother and about 20 other people were killed when their plane crashed near Los Vegas.

Paul McCartney was arrested and jailed in 1980 when customs found some green in in luggage.

Tom Cruise and Mimi Rogers announce the end of their three-year marriage in 1990.

Train Kept A Rollin'....Right Over Steven Tyler's Face!

Dude looks like...an old dude! An old dude who's grabbing the titty of a girl who bears a frightning resemblence to his daughter! I thought there was something sticking out of the cottage-cheesy mound that is Steven's ass, but it's just a tag. He's never been truly attractive, but an ass like that...officially puts you in the "aging rocker" category with the likes of Mick Jagger, Paul McCartney and yes, even Keith Richards.

Hope he doesn't try to "walk this way" without a walker. Photos from Mollygood.

Britney Spends More Than I Make in a Year in One Night

Hold on to those memories of Britney playing in the park with little Sean Preston...Britney was likely doing pre-damage control for what's to come. Miss Brit has hit the party scene once again, this time with her new freeloader, Isaac Cohen. The two spent a night in Vegas, staying at a $40,000 suite at The Palms, danced and smoked the night away at a gay club called the Strip. That was Saturday.

Sunday the two hit the Coyote Ugly bar, where Britney performed her ususal dance atop the bar. Cohen, no match for Brit's boozing, went to bed, but Britney went to the scene of her New Year's debacle, drank Dom Perignon, and danced to music by Madonna and...herself until 3 a.m. (proably thinking of how it used to be).

Mary-Kate Plays Dress Up With Mommy's Clothes

The ripped tights are under there somewhere.

Heidi Klum Leaves the Face Cake at Home!

Victoria's Secret is that the models are not as cute without the mask! Photo from TMZ.

Rachel McAdams PINK Hair!

Slightly different look from The Notebook, yea?

Jake Gyllenhaal in DRAG!!!

These were from some bits he did for a guest appearance on Saturday Night Live last night. From Just Jared.

Lindsay, Sienna, Cameron at Dinner

Sienna looks like she wishes she were in Pittsburgh!

Michael Jackson Doesn't Take or Pay for His Meds

Michael Jackson has managed to rack up a $100,000 pharmacy tab at a Beverly Hills store. The store says they have a verbal agreement with MJ to pay for the drugs, but he hasn't paid since mid-2005!

What kind of drugs do you think Michael Jackson could be on? Painkillers? Antidepressants? Placebos? Whatever it is, I doubt he's taking it!

Paula Abdul: "Let's have another beer."

Must have been a fun night. I can smell the booze through the camera.

Kelly Goes Sans Makeup

I thought she was a boy at first! Or that Britney dyed her hair again!

Britney Extends Goodwill Incorrectly

Britney is on a quest to look generous to the world! She finally took some time off partying to spend some time with her son, Sean P. (the generousity did not extend to little Jayden), and also to spread happiness around the world...in a skewed sort of way.

Britney dropped $3,200 on a rat-lookin', ankle-biting Chihuahua in Bel Air, and later on suprised a homeless man by pulling over and handing him $300, telling him, "Good luck and happy new year!"

If Britney would of thought this through, she could have made this a much more generous contribution to society. She should have left the kid at home, away from the cameras and the press - also not making Jayden feel bad for being left behind - suprised her neglected children with a two doggies she saved from euthanization at a normal shelter for only $300, then handed off $3,200 to the homeless man, giving him an opportunity to buy clothes for a job interview, rent a cheap apartment, or purchase a car...something to kickstart and change his life.

Idiot.

Shannon Elizabeth Plays Poker

I wonder if this is Celebrity Poker. That's a sure sign of being washed up. Next stop...the Surreal Life!

Tara Reid at Sea World

She had sense enough to cover up the the gut, but that doesn't leave me with much to say!

Lindsay spots her blow dealer ahead...

...her nose suddenly burning with anticipation, she breaks into a mad dash.

The pack of Camels she smoked for breakfast hits her lungs worse than the supercharged hit she took 5 minutes ago, but she's gonna do it! And when she gets her hands on that powder...

...she's gonna reward herself with a good, stiff drink. It's not everyday you buy blow. Well...she doen't buy it every day. She was in an suicide-attempt coma for a couple of days, and the painkillers she received for her sliced wrists took the egde off the cravings. No coke then. But now...it's just a short sprint away.

Tara Reid's Gorgeous Dress

Absolutely love this dress! She looks so much better lately, I can't even think of something mean to say about her lopsided boobs.

National Board of Review Awards

One of the few things Sarah Jessica Parker has worn that I dislike. I'm thinking Iola from Mama's Family as the influence to her dress.

Penelope Cruz looks good...just a friend with her apparently.

Fresh Sausage for Reichen

Out of Sight Media caught Lance Bass' ex, Reichen Lehmkul out with a new man...and they looked quite enamoured of each other...like giddy schoolgirls!

Paris and Nicky at Fred Segal

Sometimes I find it unfathomable that I work a full-time job more than 40 hours a week, plus a part-time job, have clean driving record and have a broken down Grand-Am with nearly 200,000 miles on the engine sitting in my driveway.

Paris Hilton has never really worked in her life, parties every night, gets arrested for a DWI... and drives a Bentley.

I feel depressed now. Visit Out of Sight Media while I cry on the toilet.

Britney Takes Mr. Blackwell's Criticism to Heart

Ironic? Britney was at the top of Mr. Blackwell's list yesterday, prompting a trip to Barney's with her manager, Larry Rudolph. X17 has the photos of her trip!

The face ain't looking much better than the fashion sense!

Tori Spelling: The Crop is Almost Ready for Harvest

I look at this picture, and all I can think of is the old farmers I knew in my youth, sitting at baseball games talking about the weather and this year's plantin'.

Shore does look like the breedin' on the farm has been successful. Hope the cow ain't gonna go dry from milkin' the youngin' when it comes. I reckon Maw has a heap of work on her hands already, with the cookin' and the cleanin', without helpin' Paw with the stock.

Life gits rough on the farm.

The People's Choice Awards

Jennifer Aniston - She finally ditched the black!

Queen Latifah - Am I going to get attacked?

Christina Applegate - Beautiful dress!

Carmen Electra - Not only is she cuttin' glass, but her makeup look like mine when I recycle it from a previous nights jag!

Cameron Diaz - apparently mourning Justin with that black atrocity.

Eva Longoria and Felicity Huffman - They always look good!

Halle Berry - Yeow! She always looks killer - and last night was no exception!

The list of winners:

MOVIES
- Female star: Jennifer Aniston
- Male star: Johnny Depp
- Leading lady: Cameron Diaz
- Leading man: Vince Vaughn
- Female action star: Halle Berry
- Male action star: Johnny Depp
- On-screen matchup: Johnny Depp & Keira Knightley
- Movie: "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest"
- Movie drama: "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest"
- Movie comedy: "Click"
- Family movie: "Cars"

MUSIC
- Female singer: Carrie Underwood
- Male singer: Kenny Chesney
- Group: Nickelback
- R&B song: "SexyBack" by Justin Timberlake
- Hip-hop song: "Shake That" by Eminem
- Pop song: "Hips Don't Lie" by Shakira
- Country song: "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood
- Rock song: "Who Says You Can't Go Home" by Bon Jovi
- Song from a movie: "Life is a Highway" by Rascal Flatts from
"Cars"
- Remake: "Life is a Highway" by Rascal Flatts

TELEVISION
- Comedy: "Two and a Half Men"
- Animated comedy: "The Simpsons"
- Drama: "Grey's Anatomy"
- Competition/Reality show: "American Idol"
- New Comedy: "The Class"
- New Drama: "Heroes"
- Female star: Eva Longoria
- Male star: Patrick Dempsey
- Talk show host: Ellen DeGeneres
OTHER
- Funny female star: Ellen DeGeneres
- Funny male star: Robin Williams

Interesting that Carrie Underwood beat out Faith Hill again. Faith probably showed her best face, but was really quite livid.

Jennifer Aniston gave an odd speech last night after she won, saying, "thank you for loving the Break Up. I did." That little statement has everyone speculating on whether she was actually talking about the movie or the actual breakup with Vince Vaughn.

Speaking of the Break Up, I thought it was a boring and horrible movie. My brother, boyfriend and I went to it right after we moved to Oregon to get out of the hotel, and we all hated it. I'm in awe that this was the movie picked by fans.

Mr. Blackwell's List: Who's Been Naughty This Year?

Mr. Blackwell has released his annual list of the best - and more importantly - the worst dressed celebrities of the year. Calling them "two overexposed peas in a pod", none other than Britney Spears and Paris Hilton have tied for first on the worst. Here's the rest of the list:

10. Meryl Streep
9. Sandra Oh
8. Tori Spelling
7. Sharon Stone
6. Paula Abdul
5. Mariah Carey
4. Christina Aguilera
3. Lindsay Lohan
2. Camilla Parker-Bowles
1. Britney and Paris

I agree with most of these...but Christina is usally dressed alright. Parisite usually dresses OK, but I'm all for her ending up on the worst of anything list. I think it's turning more into a reputation thing than anything.

For best dressed, Blackwell chose Kate Winslet, Angelina Jolie, Helen Mirren, Barbara Streisand, and Beyonce, as well as Nancy Pelosi, Princess Charlotte, Heidi Klum, Katie Holmes and Marcia Cross.

I could think of a few more to add to the worst-dressed! Mary-Kate Olsen, Gwen Stefani (I'll probably hear it for that one), and Jennifer Aniston...because of her all-funeral-ready wardrobe.

I'm a Guest Blogger!

Hi All!

Thanks for reading! My hits are starting to go up, and I'm having a blast finally putting my love of writing into something constructive (if you can call Britney's coochie constructive!)! Hope to see more and more comments and interaction from my readers - cuz I know you're out there!

From now on, you can also catch me at Right Celebrity, where I'll be a guest-blogger! Check out their site...it's awesome and has some great writers!

Paris: Not Guilty By Reason of Stupidity

Unfortunately, I don't think that will hold up in court, but she did plead not guilty to her charges of driving under the influence in Hollywood on September 7th. Paris didn't show up in court, but she, of course, had what I'm sure is a ridiculously expensive attorney to show up for her and get her out of her quandary.

Christina at a Birthday Bash

Christina performed for an 84-year-old lumber millionaire at a bash that included performances by Bette Midler and Robin Williams.

Wipe Your Ass on Paris!

Paris Hilton is used to sniffing ass, I'm sure...but has it ever been a common ass before now? Someone is selling Paris Hilton Toilet Paper on Ebay!!! Yes, for just $6...you can give Paris a Cleveland Steamer, a brown mustache...whatever you desire!

Disclaimer: Seller not to be held liable for anal warts resulting from use of this paper.

What's That Fishy Smell?

Does Britney have her legs open again?

My mistake! She's actually boating with a "friend" in Santa Monica! Another new guy Britney? The pair swilled down brews and had a few smokes as the chilled out on the waves. Wonder who this guy is?

Where are her poor kids...EVER??? I thought she was supposed to be in Orlando with them!

I am actually starting to feel genuine pity for her. She's so messed up. Highly successful people (which she was at one time) generally have very sad and lonely lives, and end up dying on a toilet or with a needle in their arm...and young.

Anyone wanna go for a Brit dead poll? How much longer do you give her if she keeps this pace up, y'all?

You can see lots and lots more pictures by clicking here!

Nick Lookin' Fine

He's soooo fine in a suit!!!! Hopefully, he'll dump the Bongo bitch soon, and come for me!!!

He's at a big event for GM in Detroit, looking finer than ever, while Vanessa watches on from the front row...not knowing that someday soon Nick will be breaking her heart for me.

Paris Holds Up Two Fingers...

...An indication of how many brain cells she has left.

Vince Vaughn on the Set

Not sure which movie he's filming...but probably something to be released for Christmas next year. Photos from Splash News.

Whitney: Rosie's a fat bitch!

From TMZ...

Whitney Houston can stand in line behind Donald Trump for a shot at Rosie! A few years ago during a Newsweek interview, Whitney called Rosie a "fat bitch" because Rosie insinuated that Whitney had a substance abuse problem.

But...the magazine wussed out and didn't print the item, considering it too "demeaning." Must have been the crack talking!

Donald Trumped Sued!

Donald Trump is being sued for age discrimination by a guy who didn't get picked to be on the Apprentice, supposedly becasue at 49 years of age, he's too old! People has the complete story.

Paris' Tacky Tan & Ugly Clodhoppers!

Where did she get those hideous shoes?

Keira Knightley in Hawaii With Her Man

Wow...she looks a little skinny, but she's in killer shape; look at the abs...I feel flabby now!

Despite Her New Look, Courtney Still Appears Bloated

Bloated and MESSED UP! Yish!

Jason Davis at Spago Restaurant

Can someone please tell me exactly what Jason and Brandon Davis are famous for? Were they in a show I never watched, like Laguna Beach, or are they just products of millionaire parents who really don't do anything....say...like Paris Hilton?

I came across these, and can't believe how unattractive he is! Why is he famous? From Out of Sight Media.

She's All Goth But the Hair

Mary-Kate Olsen and her boyfriend in West Hollywood. If you're going to go goth, why go with the bleach-blonde hair?

Gwen Stefani on Elle

She finally got rid of the big cone on her head!

Someone Likes Lindsay!

It's Emilo Estevez, who directed her film Bobby. Apparently, he was worried that her reputation as a party girl would get in the way of her being professional on the set of a demanding music. But he says he was "blown away" when he met her. Contact Music has more.

Does The Hulk Approve?

Brooke Hogan has a new boyfriend! A model named Jay who shot her sleazy album shoot with her. Finally gonna breed some dark hair into a family of tow-heads?

Britney: That's What Paper Bags Are For

Britney must be working out, cuz her body is getting back into killer shape. Unfortunately, exercise ain't helping her ugly mug. Let's face it, the girl was good looking in her younger days, but that's all in the past now. X17 Online has more pictures of Brit in a bikini!!

In the words of Phil Hartman in Frank Sinatra character: "Who cares about the face? Put a bag over it and do your business."

Britney better ask for paper at the store next time!

Ashlee at the Beach

Ashlee at the beach...that bikini bottom style is so unflattering on her! Actually, I don't like the look on anyone! Photos from Celebrity Smack.

There Ain't No Pubes Like Famous Pubes!

Click here to check out Pubes Aid, a website that collects celebrity pubes, mounts and frames them, and then donates the money they make to charities!

Ewww!!!! I don't care if it's celebrity pubes! I have my own, and if I want pubes hanging on my wall, I'll yank out a few of my own and frame them

Faith Hill's Latest Tantrum

Consider the source before reading too much into this, but the National Enquirer is reporting that Faith Hill and Tim McGraw have hit what Britney would describe as a "rocky moment." According to a "source", Tim has been partying with his boozing buddies way too much. Read the rest here.

Nicole Goes Shopping

Nicole shopping in West Hollywood. I bet she's looking through the size 0 section! I'm just not getting used to the skinny pants. I still have nightmares about 80's fashion, and the tight-ankled pants are too close to the decade for me to go there yet.

Paris Runs Out of Gas

The New York Post reports that Paris' brand new Bentley ran out of gas yesterday as she was headed home from a day of pampering at her favorite salon! Apparently, she was unsure of what to do when it happened, so she just sat there and flipped through a scrapbook until one of the paparazzi on her tail went to get gas for her.

I would totally drive right past Paris if I saw her stranded on the freeway!

Jessica Cleans Up

She looks better than she has in the last few weeks!

An Open Letter From Christina to Britney

Dear Britney,

Because of your recent problems with pictures of an unladylike nature floating around the internet, I thought I would send you this photo journal of the proper way to get out of a vehicle. Note in the first picture that I've crossed my legs and pulled my dress down to the knee area. (Note: It's effective to start with a dress that doesn't show your coochie standing up.)

In the second two photos, you'll notice I lean forward, and pull one knee in and slightly cross my legs instead of spreading them wide open, which leads to the money shot. I can then emerge completely from the vehicle without exposing my flower to the world.

Feel free to reference these photos any time you feel the need for a refresher course. I hope you'll contact me if you need personal coaching on this art.

Sincerely,

Christina Aguilera

P.S. Remember...legs together! A lady reveals nothing!

Bongo: Still in Business For Your Denim Needs

Remember Bongo jeans??!!! They are still around, and Vanessa Minnillo has signed on to be the face of the Bongo campaign! Hollyscoop has more photos from the Spring 2007 ad campaign!

Jennifer Aniston: Mama?

It came from the National Enquirer, so take it as you will, but Jennifer Aniston supposedly wants to adopt a "less fortunate" child, and welcome (hopefully) him into her home.

Hmmm...trying to woo back her man by becoming the lady for whom he left her. Click here for more from The Bosh.

The Louis Vuitton Blue Light Special

Martha Stewart got a line at K-Mart, why not Louis?

Seriously, I could go buy this bag in the clearance bin at Big K for $2 - $2,098 less then Louis' asking. And that's what I'd do if I wanted a tacky duffel bag that blinds oncomers.

Thumbs down! That's Kim Kardashian next to Paris. Frillr has more details!

The Custody Battle: Round One

Britney and Kevin have agreed on a custody arrangemnt concerning sons Sean P. Jayden James, but it's only through the month of January.

Brit gets the custody for a large portion of the time, and K-Fed will be allowed to see the boys three times a week for four hours betwee the 12th and the 31st.
They also agreed that the only - only - people allowed at Fed-Ex's visitation's will be Britney, K-Fed, a nanny, Brit's personal assistant, and household staff. That's it?

And Britney's allowed to take the kiddies to Miami for a week (starting today). I thought K-Fed was an inbecile, but I can't believe that Britney's behavior warrants full-time custody. Especially when she's not ever with them. If she's going to go out partying, why shouldn't Fed-Ex get to see the kids?

Britney Does Damage Control

Read the message that Britney posted to her fans on her website here.

My favorite part is:

" ...the media has criticized my every move and printed a skewed perception of who I really am as a human being. Behind every decision I have made in my public life there always seems to be an apparent contradiction."

Oh I get it...so it's the way the media construes Britney's actions that are destroying her reputation!

I don't think there was contradictions made to any of her actions. She chose to flash her love canal several times in several weeks, and the media chose to publish it. She chose to dance on tables on her birthday, the media captured it on film, and published that too. Not skewed at all, in my humble opinion. The camera doesn't lie.

Does she think her fans are as moronic as she? All it takes is a little common sense to realize she was coked up and drunk on New Years. And we see pictures of her out every night when she has two babies sitting at home. I don't think that's a "skewed image." Is she going to turn into one of those Moms who has her kids pick her up from the bars when they're old enough to drive?

And by the way...the spelling and grammer is beyond her level. It was written, or at least carefully edited and approved by someone in her posse.

Heather Mills Loses It!

And she says Paul is demented! Heather Mills allegedly kicked a woman in a Starbucks because she saw a woman taking pictures of her with her cell phone!

The woman said Heather grabbed her by the throat and pushed her towards the door, then kicked her with her left leg in the ass!

Was that her fake leg, I wonder? Wouldn't it be funny if the prostetic fell off and was lodged in the woman's butt?

Natalie Portman Photo Shoot

More photos can be found on the Bastardly.

Justin Timberlake at the Alpha Dog Premiere

Photos from Splash News.

Chris Daughtry at the Yahoo! Pepsi Smash

I rarely watch American Idol, because I can't stand the vocal aerobics they do, but I happened to catch an episode where Chris sang a Johnny Cash song...I think it was Ring of Fire...but he did it totally in his own way, and I thought it was fabulous...I actually really liked something on Idol. We're playing his song on my station, and I like it! Impressed! He's cute, too!

Britney Alienates Her Fans With Her "Rocky Moments"

The largest unofficial Britney Spears fan website, World of Britney, is closing down because of her partying, table-dancing, crotch-revealing ways.

Rueben Garay, who founded the site in October 2000 says:

"I'm not happy with the way she's portraying herself."

Her manager, the infamous Larry Rudolph continues to make lame excuses for her, saying:

"She understands what's going on right now, and she calls it her 'rocky moment.' Britney knows exactly what she needs to do."

Um...Lar? She hasn't been doing it, that's the problem. How can you even file her behavior under "rocky moments?" How about idiotic, stupid, imbesolic (probably not a word)...I can think of more fitting words to label her episodes.

But Rudolph still believes Brit Brit will be back, bigger than ever:

"She's taking all the right steps. Britney Spears will be back and absolutely at the top of the entertainment industry very soon."

I don't doubt it. Who isn't enjoying watching her make an ass of herself? Makes my jags in my early 20's look like a tea party. From JJB.

Way to go, Grace!

Actually, that's Jessica Simpson, tripping over her own feet while filming a Pizza Hut commercial.

We were just discussing a commerical she did for them a while back, where she was singing "these balls are made for popping..."

Beyonce and Jay-Z in the Carribean

Wouldn't it be nice to have money?

Scott Stapp and Wife Welcome a Daughter

Former Creed (yawn) singer Scott Stapp and his wife, Jaclyn, had their first child together on Thursday, according to the singer's rep. Baby Milan Hayat Stapp weighed 6 lbs, 7 oz. and was 20 inches long.

They name was chosen because of Scott's Cherokee heritage, and means "to have the creativity of God." Stapp has an 8-year-old son, Jagger, from a previous marriage.

Jack's Back!

24 returns to the air for it's 6th season on Sunday! I'm so excited! It's one of my favorite shows, and I missed 4 episode at the beginning of last season, so I just stopped watching and plan to watch it on DVD at some point! It's gonna be one hell of a day for Jack Bauer!

Jane Fonda Feels Up Lindsay

Despite Jane Fonda's criticism of Lindsay Lohan, she invited Lindsay to celebrate her 69th birthday, along with Garry Marshall. Probably to cop a feel.

Britney Looks Rough

So much for rest and relaxtion! Britney Spears headed out on Wednesday night and dined at Dolce in Hollywood, and then hit the clubs. From People and X17 Online.

Parisite's Moral Boundries

It turns out that there are limits to how far even Paris Hillton will go!

Paris says she's turned down some perverted ideas, like a sex doll of her likeness. She apparently hated the idea that strangers would make love to a doll that looked like her. The dolls would have supposedly cost $50,000 each, and would be life-sized.

But she doesn't seem to mind that the entire free world has seen her sex tape!

From Attuworld.

Paris' Song Receives an Icy Reception!

Paris got the cold shoulder at nightclub PURE when she was singing a track from her new album. As she walked offstage, someone hurled an icecube at her!

Someone happened to catch it on film! From TMZ.

Jake Gyllenhaal Goes Grocery Shopping

I always wonder what celebrities get when they grocery shop. He seems to be one of those health nuts I see in the grocery store, while I'm standing there with a cart full of chips and frozen pizza.

On a personal note...a few weeks ago we were at the grocery store and our checker commented on the fact that we had alot of junk food! Hey look, lady! I'm 20 pounds lighter than you, and you just need to scan the UPC codes and tell me how much I owe! I don't need the commentary on my culinary selections!

Photos from Pink Renaissance!

Lindsay Lohan's Latest Medical Issue

Lindsay Lohan has undergone yet another medical procedure! TMZ reports that Lindsay had surgery to remove her appendix! Her publicist said that Lindsay was feeling under the weather yesterday so the doctor removed it as a "precautionary measure"

She has so many ailments, I'm starting to wonder if someone in her family is trying to slowly knock her off for the insurance check. Ya know...a little dose of arsenic in the food/blow every day. Which gets me to thinking...

If I went to the hospital as many times as Lindsay Lohan did, my medical insurance would have dropped me by now. Even putting aside her emergency surgeries and bouts of "exhaustion", the girl is high risk. Smoker, blow addict, alcoholic, cutter...those all raise the rates a bit! And we can't forget the multiple car accidents! I would expect those have caused a fews trips to the ER. And higher auto insurance too!

Britney in Spin Dry?

Britney's new year resolution was to "take better care" of herself and to "stop biting" her nails. Well, she's either trying to live up to her "goals" for 2007, or she's realized she's being a spaced-out, drunken tramp, and has decided to go to rehab!!!

Britney has apparently checked herself in to a "spa" in Arizona called "Sanctuary" for a little R&R...and she did it quietly, causing speculation that it's really for treatment!

Rehab facilities are always named something like "Promises", "Oak Knolls", "Shady Hills"...or "Sanctuary."

She obviously has the sickness. Perhaps her new friend Lindsay is helping her with "the program."

Read the complete story by clicking here.

Lindsay's All Wet!

Doesn't she look like a burn victim up close? Does anyone know who that unattractive man with her is? Perhaps a fellow twelve-stepper? So much for anonymity, in that case!

Lindsay on New Year's

Lovely pink frock she has on. Only Lindsay would celebrate her "sobriety" by going clubbing.

Tyra Banks Packs on the Pounds

She needs to switch reality shows. Instead of hosting America's Next Top Model, she needs to contend on The Biggest Loser.

Next Year's Christmas Cards

Now that the holiday's are over, it may be time to think about the greetings I'll send out to my family and friends next year. These are a festive choice, I think. Nothing says the Christmas season like drugs and mugs! From Gallery of the Absurd.

Ricky Martin: Celebrities Suck!

Is that because he isn't one anymore?

Fantasia Sweats it Out

Apparently this photo has been around for a few weeks, but I hadn't seen it...and god knows I love embarrassing bodily function photos! Fantasia has joined Fegie as a crotch-sweating celebrity. First of all, I wouldn't wear that outfit if I was her size. Secondly...she's obviously prone to hyper-hydrosis...so why wear a tight onesie under glaring bright lights? From I'm Bringing Blogging Back.

Britney's Resolution: Screw My Kids. It's All About ME!!

The way I look at it, Britney had her New Year's Resolutions cut out for her this year! There were a number of options she had to pick from, such as:

• Spending more time at home with the kids
• Stop partying and stay home with her kids
• Discontinue showing her crotch in public
• Dump her idiot friends who drag her down (i.e. Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan)
• Stop passing out in clubs
• Stop dancing on tables in restaurants
• Stop having babies with losers
• Choose one hair length and color for the year
• Stop wearing unflattering outfits
• Immediately stop embarrassing her family with her raunchy behavior
• Finalize her divorce before dating other men

All of them fesible goals to achieve, I think! But what is Britney's New Year's Resolution for 2007? She says, "Stop biting my nails. Just to take care of me more."

Gee. That's an ambitious plan. Her children are probably permentantly scarred from her disturbing behavior and she's worried about her fingernails and herself.

"Taking care" of herself. Translation: Get out more often to party.

I hope her nails stay short and stubby even if she does quit biting them

It's a Boy for Will Ferrell!

Will Ferrell and his wife, Viveca Paulin, welcome a new little boy to their family early on Saturday morning. The new baby, Mattias Ferrell, joins his 2-year-old brother, Magnus Paulin Ferrell.

Demi Moore on Vanity Fair

Demi Moore will be on the February issue of Vanity Fair. Her first issue was in August of 1991...the famous "naked and pregnant" issue. Her last issue was in August of 1992, again nude, and covered with a layer of body paint.

Thanks for keeping it toned down this time, Demi.

More Dirt on Dirty Daddy

Now that Jessica has pissed off her Dirty Daddy, will she get a spanking from him for being a naughty girl?

Ol' Joe is reportedly livid that Jessica refused to host a New Year's party in Vegas at PURE and then partied in New York with John Mayer.

Dirty Daddy's rage most likely stems from the Dolly Parton tribute fiasco, which cost him a cool $15,000 after the Kennedy Center refused to reimburse Jessica's hair, makeup and stylist fees after Jess backed out.

Fr. Joseph should be happy Jess didn't take the Vegas gig...that job went to Britney Spears, and look how her night ended!

But actually, now that I think about it...Dirty Daddy would probably really dig some crotch shots of his first born.

Jessica Pays Dirty Daddy's Way...Again

Dirty Daddy Joe Simpson has found yet another use for his daughter. (She's ever so versatile!) Dirty Daddy wanted to do Dallas...in a football sense that is. What's a father who's already got everything he owns by selling his daughter to do?

Enter Tony Romo. Dirty Daddy reportedly let Romo "admit" to going out with Jessica Simpson...for...tickets! However, Romo is really dating Carrie Underwood, and has never actually met. He's sick. Was he really a minister? Sure it wasn't a Catholic priest?

Read more Dirty Daddy Ditties!!!!

Looks Like Booze To Me, Spears!

Despite denials from the Spears crew, it appears that her New Year's nod-off was, indeed, caused by chemicals.

That deer-in-headlights look and the way she's clutching that wine glass for dear life...she looks like a bum on a freeway exit ramp protecting his bottle of Jack Daniels, no?

Jay Leno Stranded

Jay Leno had some car problems while out for a drive in his relic collector. It's an awesome car, really. And probably breaks down less than mine.

What's a famous talk-show host to do? Jay just got down on his hands and knees and worked on the car! Click here to see photos and video!

Hot Hollyweird Babes

I got these photos on Distotrait! Jessica's lips are getting just as full in real life!

Mary-Kate Olsen: Woof! Woof!

What the hell is she doing? All I think when I gaze upon this picture is Cousin Eddie's dog Snots from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Does MK has a little Mississippi Leghound in her too?

From Celebrity Dirty Laundry.

Holidays in Hollyweird: Kid Rock

Kid Rock spent New Year's at JET nightclub at the Mirage on New Year's Eve, part of it in the DJ booth. It's certainly not the type of place I'd expect to see a member of ZZ Top patronize, but that's Billy Gibbons up on stage with Kid. Photo from Glitterati Gossip.

Paris Stiffs a Restaurant

According to Female First, Paris Hilton walked out of an Austrailian restaurant without paying her bill! Paris, who's over in Austrailia promoting a new beer, was at Sydney's Sloanes Cafe, eating a burger and swilling down some drinks.

A waitress from the restaurant said that Paris was "chatting" (a.k.a. trying to pick up) with a waiter, and then walked out of the cafe without paying for her drinks. Her publicist paid for her burger earlier, apparently. And all the waitresses were probably fighting over who got